Razor Ramblings - On Tour

Well, I couldn't help but get a shave in Kolkata. After all, where would this segment be without me looking for the oddest places to have a razor dragged across my face? As I roamed the streets, my eye was constantly on the lookout for the best place...and the best story. What I found was similar to Varanasi, however I was perched on a box and not on the banks of the Mother Ganga.

Location: Sidewalk of Sudder St.
Number of Nicks: Three
Rating: 3/5

I had just come out of the Indian Museum (the oldest in India, in fact). Not surprisingly, I was disappointed immensely by the number of sections that were under renovation and what little effort was put into providing any useful information. What better way to cheer me up than for some guy to take liberty on my face with a sharp knife. It just so happened that a willing suitor was right around the corner. He had been busy with another victim, but still welcomed me with open arms.

When it was my turn, I was ordered to sit on a box and sit very, very still. "Theek hai, boss," was the only thing that came to mind (no wonder it was on my leaving cake...). The only unique part of the lather stage was the poking of my throat with the horsehair brush. Why this was necessary I will never know, but apparently the guy enjoyed doing it so I didn't object.

As he brought the razor to my face, all I could think was that his angle of attack was different seeing as how he sat across from me. It meant that he should be able to navigate my chin with sniper-like accuracy. Unfortunately, all it meant was quick, violent strokes with the blade. Had I had the skin of an 80 yr-old, the technique probably would've worked quite well. Too bad that's still 58 years away (is that all?).

My face didn't feel worse after...just the usual "why couldn't he just be careful around me chin? It feels like it's on fire" feeling. I had been wondering how he would clean off what was left of the foam. The answer: he just dipped his hands in the water and quasi-massaged the liquid into all the tiny pores. I noticed that he really worked the nose...not sure why.

After assuming it was all over, the guy brought out some scissors and went straight for the nose. Now I know why he said "Sit very, very still." You really don't wanna be moving when you have scissors in your nose....

Finally, the aftershave was applied and a price of 30 rupees was put on the table (which was subsequently rejected). He ended up getting 15 off me...but only because of the extra-curricular activity with the scissors.