Conspiracy Theory?

I have to interrupt my German reminiscing for a second. Below is a map illustrating my situation at 2:30 AM last Friday. I was walking back from the best drinking spot in Cairo with 3 pints in me. I wasn’t so much feeling the desired effects (must’ve been all that German beer), but rather the undesired effect having to “piss like a racehorse.” As such, I was walking fast…as my legs could take me. Alas, I didn’t think I was going to make it home, so I was going through the possible alternatives. The only one that came to mind was the place you see in the picture marked with a green “X.”

I don’t want to make one thing clear: I am in no way proud of having to relieve myself in an alleyway. People do it all the time here, but that doesn’t make it right for me. However, the situation was critical and needed to transpire.


So I ducked into the alleyway and did what I needed to do. As I was turning to leave my position, I heard footsteps from behind. I thought, “Oh no, someone saw me.” I started walking back to the street, then this guy appeared directly in front of me.

“Where are you going?” he asked…in Arabic.
“Home.”
“I am a police officer,” he stated, opening up his wallet to show me his ID, which was a green card.
“Umm…ok.”
“Where is your passport?” At that moment, a guy came up from behind and started jabbering at me.
“Where is your passport?”
“I don’t have it.”
“Where are you from?”
“Canada.”
“Where is your passport?”
“I don’t have it.”
“Where do you live?”
“There,” pointing in the direction of my apartment (it was 30 seconds away).
“Where is your passport?”
“I don’t have it. It’s in my apartment.”
“What were you doing there?”
“Nothing,” I had to lie.
“Where do you live?”
“Over there.”At that point, I started walking towards home, motioning that I just lived around the corner.
“Ok, have a nice night, sir.”
What? All that and I get a “Have a nice night, sir”?

Ok, now I’m not much for conspiracy theories, but the more I thought about what happened, the more I realized that these guys must’ve followed me for a bit. When I ducked into the alleyway, one of them stood at one entrance, while the other guy circled around the back way. Maybe they thought I was dealing drugs or something. But still, it’ll definitely make me look over my shoulder next time I’m walking home at that hour.