I Wasn't Happy About Going Down There...

without a legitimate ISIC Student card. With about 8 or 9 temples and tombs to enter, entrance fees promised to be outrageous. Unless, of course, you presented the card to get your 50% discount.

Not that I deserved any discounts. My apathy towards the subject, I had like 4 weeks to figure something out, was legendary. I kept looking at my fake, expired card that was of some Czech guy (good thing all white people look the same) and thinking, "This will do fine." Oh, but I was still nervous that the ticket sellers in Upper Egypt would be among the more serious of their brethren.

So off I went, equipped with one fake ISIC card and one legitimate, but expired, University of Calgary card. I was already starting to come up with my story:

"Well, my situation is rather complicated. I was born to Czech parents, but raised in Canada. I don't know a word of Czech, nor do I have any connection to my roots. I can owe this to my parents' fierce rejection of the Communist regime--how could anyone enjoy the Prague Spring? They snuck out of the country via hay-cart, of all transportation modes, only to reach Austria three weeks later and after multiple pokes by vicious border guards and their bayonets. 

My parents then embarked on an intense Canadianization program. Six weeks in the arctic, six weeks on the east coast, six on the prairies, six in Toronto (*shudder*), six in conservative country, and six on the west coast. Oh, and they spent a few weeks in Quebec, but couldn't take it anymore and left early.

Then I was born. I didn't find out my parents were Czech until I was 17. At that point I rebelled by running away in a proverbial hay-cart of my own...to the Czech Republic. One lesson I learned was that hay-carts do not float. Perhaps this was a product of my Canadian education?

After enrolling in University of Prague, I chose to study Economics. My name changed to avoid any trouble with the Czech Immigration Ministry. Unfortunately, my parents had connections in the secret police. Yes, they still operate and they can still deport you faster than a Czech pilsner can be guzzled.

I found myself back in Canada, in Calgary. There I enrolled at the University of Calgary to finish my Econ degree. I still have yet to see my parents and will never forgive them for sending the secret police after me. Trust me, these guys have an imagination when it comes to breaking into one's house and dragging said person's body out the back door.

And now I am in Egypt. Any questions?"

Fortunately, I never had to resort to this. I managed to get into every attraction with my fake card. It took some cajoling, but I did it. At one point, my fake ISIC card was left with a guide, so I had to resort to my UofC card. Sure, I felt a bit dirty, but I saved some 200 LE.

Oh, and no, Blanka, I didn't get mugged.