The Lada Legend: In the Conservatory with the Candlestick

It was while watching a mechanic fumble with our decrepit brake cylinder that the name for our Lada was born. We had been struggling for months to find the perfect moniker that would encompass the car’s age, colour, and the multilingual nature of our investor team. Different words in different languages were combined and tried, but to no avail.

One such name was “Hardaloglu”, which translates to “Son of Yellow” in Azerbaijani. Another was “Gorchitsnovich”, or “Son of Mustard”. We felt like we were on the right track, but something wasn’t quite right. And then it dawned un us: Colonel Mustard!

The “colonel” part fit the car’s age perfectly, and the mustard part needs no further explanation. Anyone that has played the game “Clue” will understand the significance of this name. If you have not, then look it up.

Where it gets exciting is the back story. A name like Colonel Mustard provides endless opportunities. For example, did you know that the Lada was the only car to see not one, but two Chechen wars? It was even swapped from one side to the other for mustard and sausages. Those paint chips on the roof? Not a result of corrosion, but rather shrapnel from a nearby explosion. The Colonel might even have been involved in the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan. I thought I saw a picture of it crossing the friendship bridge. We are currently looking into it.

So there you have it: Colonel Mustard. Stay tuned for an update about whether or not the car actually works.