The Lada Legend: Who Steals a Zhiguli 011? - Part 4

"It's been found," said the officer on the other end.

"Where?" replied the chief investigator.

"Near Teze Bazaar."

"We're coming."


"The Call" will go down in history as one of those moments that define the course of history. Let's consider for a second, with the benefit of hindsight, what would've happened had "the call" not come.

1. There would have been no trip to the south of the country for Novruz which would have likely resulted in us not experiencing perhaps the greatest levengi chicken in the country.
2. We would never have discovered that roasting marshmallows at yanar dag is not only possible, but encouraged.
3. We definitely would not have found the last remaining Lenin statue in the country during a road trip to Sheki.
4. The chance to be the official wedding car (more on this in future blog posts) would have eluded us completely.
5. Most importantly, we would not be three days away from the Colonel's most epic trip to date.

Frightening to think where we'd be had "the call" not happened.


As they pulled up to where the car was sitting, they saw a group of old ladies scatter like they were all about to be arrested. Amy, Sarah, and the chief investigator exited the car and watched as a number of plainclothes policemen emerged from the shadows. They had been watching the car for the last few hours. Turns out this group of old ladies was showing interest in stripping the car down for parts. Good to know the entrepreneurial spirit is still alive and well.

The car had come to a stop next to a wall and only one side could be seen. All looked fine from where Amy and Sarah stood, but a closer inspection by the investigator revealed the extent of the damage. From what they could tell, the perpetrators crudely hotwired the car and then drove it into a wall. The rain certainly did not help matters. Both Amy and Sarah decided it was better to go home and deal with the car in the morning. It had been a long day.

Kent returned from Morocco the next day and was told everything that has been explain up to this point. He laughed and remarked that he probably would've found the car himself because he goes to Teze Bazaar every Sunday. Would he go to the police station the next day to sign some statements? Absolutely. Was this just another epic chapter in the Lada Legend? Definitely.

The next morning at the police station involved a lot sitting and waiting as written statements were typed out on the computer and, not surprisingly, as the discussion about Kent's actual whereabouts over the past six weeks continued. When they found it was not in fact America, the statement had to be changed yet again. Eventually documents were put down in front of Amy, Kent, and the official translator for signature. We learned that the car had been taken to a special "lot" and was awaiting inspection by what we could only assume to be a team of forensic specialists. CSI: Baku was born.

So we waited. And waited. A couple of days passed before we realized we should take matters into our own hands. Amy called the Chief Investigator and asked what was needed in order to get the car out of the lot. In lieu of a forensic specialist inspection, a 3rd party mechanic had to provide a written estimate of the damage. But where was this lot? Way out of town, of course.

That weekend we made our way to the lot via a combination of buses, taxis, and walking through a lot of mud. It turned out that our car was never awaiting forensic inspection, but was rather simply dumped with all of the other smashed-up cars. Had we not taken matters into our own hands, I don't think the Colonel would've seen the road again. As for the exterior damage, it was worse than first thought. The entire right front panel was smashed, the right front tire was ripped, the right headlight was broken, and there was suspension damage. This wasn't going to be an easy fix.