A Comparison of Restaurants

Another habit that has been engrained in me as a result of living in India is assuming that the waiter/waitress doesn’t speak the same language as me.

Here is the typical procedure at an Indian restaurant:

1. You walk in the door and surprise everyone sitting in the place by being the only white person there.


2. You sit down and are immediately handed a menu (if the place even has one).


3. About two minutes later, the waiter comes around and you pronounce poorly, then point to the item that you wish to have.


4. If you need more time, you say, “Ek minit,” and the waiter goes away for a minute or two.


5. Within minutes, you have your food and the other locals in the restaurant are swarming around you trying to find out where you’re from and if you are married.


6. Before eating, you take a picture of your food for your friends back home.


7. Now that you’ve shown your camera to the onlookers, you’re obliged to take photos of them.


8. After finishing, you get up and pay your bill (the total of which is approximately 2 bucks).

Contrast this to a Canadian restaurant:

1. You walk in and are greeted by someone who speaks your language.


2. You take a seat at the table only to realize that no one in the restaurant has noticed, nor cares, that you’ve entered the establishment.


3. You sit idly as the waiter/waitress attends to 8 other tables at once.


4. When he/she finally gets to you, you are actually able to make small talk (which makes you feel uncomfortable to begin with).


5. While placing your order, you habitually point out the item on the menu to the embarrassment of not only yourself, but to the waiter/waitress as well.


6. Ashamed, you wait for your food only to notice the person across from you laughing at your silly little habits.


7. The food arrives, you eat it with a knife and fork, and then you pay an outrageous price for it.


8. You walk out of the place without taking photos, talking to locals or a grumbling stomach…how boring.